Sébastien Chauffray - Favoriser l'apprentissage en provoquant des changements personnels (REX) (FR)

[00:00:16] First of all, I will start with a small disclaimer to avoid disappointments and clarify what we will be discussing tonight. This is not necessarily a very common talk at conferences. You will not find any theory or model on how to manage a transformation here. Instead, we will be sharing an experience that has changed me a lot and the parallels we can draw with an organization. The theme of this track is change; I hope you can find some inspiration in it.
[00:00:42] The sound seems very choppy.
[00:00:45] It's the same for everyone.
[00:00:52] I'm fine.
[00:00:55] Okay.
[00:00:57] Sorry, Farouk.
[00:00:59] I will start with this phrase: 'It's not the big that eats the small, it's the fast that eats the slow.' We all know this adage that drives our organizations today and brings a necessity for transformation and continuous learning. This notion of transformation is important because almost all of us are convinced that transformation is needed. Even if some still hesitate, I think almost all of us are convinced, and it is often difficult to implement and put in place the changes necessary for transformation. If I may speak for myself, we often encounter a duality between the desire for change and the entrenched inertia in which we settle. And with a little hindsight, we can identify two essential pillars for this notion of transformation. First, we have the foundations of transformation. These are carried by individuals who deeply believe in change. Without them, I am convinced that transformation cannot take place. Individuals who deeply believe in change, in experiences, and in learning to evolve and reach another level. We can say that the culture of transformation at the company level relies on these individuals and on this diversity of thought.
[00:02:08] Then, for me, the second pillar is this notion of individuality. I will call it the full awareness of individuals. In fact, a good self-knowledge develops another way of acting, another way of thinking, and offers us a new perspective. Learning to know oneself, to recognize one's sensations and emotions, gives us a different view of events. And accepting our emotions also allows us to put distance between the emotion and the reaction, enabling us to use it as a lever. So tonight, together, we will talk about creating the conditions for change, not at the company level, but at a personal level. How stepping out of your comfort zone can change the way you think, and your way of seeing your environment, your way of acting.
[00:02:56] And based on personal examples, I will try to draw the lines between trying diversity in our lives and the results we can achieve from it. Feel free to react in the chat; I will try to keep an eye on it, and we can go through it at the end and answer questions. I will try not to be too long so we can leave room for discussion.
[00:03:18] Before going into more detail, I will introduce myself briefly; this will provide some insights into this experience. First, an element that is very important in tonight's talk, as you will see, I am a happily married man and a father. On the professional side, today I hold the role of VP of Engineering and Product at Veepee, so we are the European leader in online overstock clearance. Previously, I worked extensively in the healthcare sector, where I supported the growth of various products. If you want to know more, you can find various articles on Medium where I have expressed my ideas on topics like organizational management and others.
[00:04:01] To understand this talk, we need to delve a bit deeper into my personality. As you will see tonight, I have decided to open up, so we will go all in.
[00:04:11] For those of you familiar with Process Communication, I have a well-anchored workaholic base. If I try to summarize, the workaholic type is someone who is focused on logic and rationality, and is often seen as responsible, operates in steps, and is recognized for organization and anticipating events. So there is no doubt about it, my colleagues with a more rebellious profile, who will recognize themselves, can attest—I fit right in.
[00:04:40] Just a side note, for those who are not familiar with Process Communication, I highly recommend looking into it. Ah, we have a dreamer in the room. Mistakes are good; we need all types of profiles. I highly recommend looking into it. It is really very important, both for oneself and for understanding the people we interact with daily. So, my base is workaholic. In addition to this base, I have a strong taste for learning and a need to discover, learn, and meet people to move forward in my life. And at a certain point in my life, quite late, I might add—I will come back to this—I told myself that I needed stronger shocks to diversify my way of thinking and to develop. And where did I find them? And as the experience progressed, it ended up offering me a real case. We will see this as the evening progresses tonight.
[00:05:33] I think you all know what we call this comfort zone, this famous zone. It is a psychological zone in which we feel safe, in control of our ecosystem, and where the unexpected takes little place. This does not mean it is a restful zone, of course not; it is not a zone where we get bored. But we can be full of energy, fulfilled, while remaining psychologically serene and limiting the stress of the unknown.
[00:06:01] At times, we try, we experiment, we start taking some risks and attempt new approaches, but not too far. It requires a lot of effort and willpower to move away. And a bit like the force of gravity, we are often pulled back to the center. And this is somewhat what, if we take another parallel like Maslow's pyramid, it teaches us with the second level of this pyramid, which is the security and stability to which we often cling.
[00:06:27] Yet there is a very widespread idea that magic happens when we step out of this comfort zone. Once we give ourselves the means not to fear change, not to fear the unknown, but to try something else, to start understanding our reactions, our adaptation to a different world, it is somewhat a willingness to question ourselves and adapt our ways of thinking, adapt our opinions to different situations.
[00:06:59] A little teaser for later: it is an idea I strongly believe in, that by making the effort to step out of our comfort zone, we learn a lot.
[00:07:09] And we can consider this as a challenge to our psychological barriers, to realize that change is not something negative, but on the contrary, it allows us to broaden our experiences and expand our encounters.
[00:07:26] And I have tried and experimented with this distancing several times in my professional and personal life. I did not do it right away. It took me time, and even a lot of time, we can say. Let's get to the heart of the matter; I will start describing these different stages. My career began in the healthcare field, in small structures with which I grew up. I accompanied the first company for a long time and grew at the same pace as the company, moving from a developer role to a head of engineering role. And even though daily life was very challenging and constantly changing as the company evolved, I knew all its ins and outs; I was really in my zone. I stayed there for ten years. Ten years before I started asking myself questions and before I started waking up. Maybe I needed to see how things worked elsewhere and what practices could be found outside this ecosystem I knew so well.
[00:08:23] It was a movement that was quite difficult. We can... A kind of break happened, in which I decided to leave something I cared about a lot. And so I made a first change. And in the end, with hindsight, it was a fairly gentle change because I stayed close to my zone. At that time, I took on the role of CTO in a company that certainly had a different context, but where I still found many familiar reference points. It was still in the healthcare field, the same type of structure. And although different, there were issues that were very similar to those I was familiar with.
[00:08:58] And it was a small change that took a lot of time but ultimately really paid off. I learned a lot in this new role, but above all, I set in motion the mechanism and the desire to try different things and give a boost to my life.
[00:09:19] And that's where I really started to dive in. To go all in, during this experience, I embarked on an 18-month executive training program alongside my C-level responsibilities and family life. Once again, a big thank you to my wife for putting up with that; it might not have been a great idea at the time. What better way to reactivate learning than to return to school benches? We studied fields that were the opposite of my daily life at the time. I delved into commerce, law, finance, marketing, and a bunch of other subjects. When my daily life at that time was tech, people, and organization. And in the end, it was a real game-changer in many aspects. First, in opening my mind to people who had a completely different background from mine, who did not think the same way. And so, I had to adapt to these different ways of thinking. Then, there was the work on oneself to absorb the workload of this learning. Continuing alongside my daily routine. And of course, there was the encounter with incredible people who still help me grow today, on a daily basis, even though it's over.
[00:10:33] This work continued to activate learning cells, and it's the moment of the second boost.
[00:10:40] And I would even say the moment of unconsciousness in hindsight. During this 18-month training, I seized the opportunity to change sectors and company size, and thus joined the private sales group, now VIP.
[00:10:54] Why do I say unconsciousness? Because, needless to say, the training plus onboarding in a new role, in a new context, was punctuated by some truly difficult moments. Let's say it wasn't a move that was highly recommended during this training. But once again, this risk-taking, this decision to change, although very challenging, had a significant impact on my evolution. Both in adapting to a structure of an incomparable size compared to my previous experience, and in the type of challenge I would face. So that was the second kick, if I can call it that.
[00:11:35] And finally, there was this third boost, and by far the most striking was the decision with my family to take a break. I mentioned at the beginning that being a husband and father would be important, so here we are, and we decided to change. radically shift our perspective for a given period.
[00:11:56] And it's on this specific example that I will focus tonight, trying to describe how a choice to experiment with something else had significant impacts on my personality, my way of functioning, and clearly laid the foundations for a personal change.
[00:12:20] I continue to open the door, I said I was opening up, here I go.
[00:12:24] We took this trip, we did it for several reasons. First, it was to have time, to step back and gain a better perspective on issues that mattered to us.
[00:12:36] Second, it was of course to be closer as a family and offer a different type of education to our children. To learn other ways of thinking, and not just the European way. And finally, it was to open our minds, particularly on themes of culture, the environment, and society. And to ensure we fully enjoyed this experience, we had a well-defined philosophy. We wanted this trip to be light, simple, and truly close to others. And these three words may seem simplistic like that, but they were crucial in how we lived this experience and the lessons we learned from it. and to have a better vision on subjects that mattered to us.
[00:12:35] The second was, of course, to be closer as a family and to offer a different type of education to our children. To learn other ways of thinking, and not just the European way. And finally, it was to open our minds, particularly on themes of culture, the environment, and society. And to be sure to fully enjoy this experience, we had a well-defined philosophy. We wanted this trip to be light, simple, and truly close to others. And these three words may seem simplistic like that, but they hold great importance in how we lived this experience and the lessons we were able to draw from it.
[00:13:18] Here, we’re going to touch on a point that is really important. Hello. Even though we were very lucky to take such a trip, it wasn’t by luck, as we’ve heard many times. We wanted to do it. It’s a choice that involves desire, a decision, and also sacrifices. And the most difficult part here was the decision. And that’s where the learning begins, and it starts well before departure. Without a doubt, one of the greatest impacts on me was this choice, the choice to make a real transformation. And this decision was not easy to make. Even though the idea had been in our minds for some time, behind the 'yes, let’s go,' that final 'yes, let’s go,' there were many mental steps to overcome.
[00:14:10] On my part, even though I knew it would be a great experience, I often said, 'it’s not the right time.' Maybe later, it’s not the right time. And from that point of view, it was true; there were always many challenges to face in my professional life. And since I had always worked in an environment I enjoyed, where I learned a lot each time, I remained stuck in that mindset.
[00:14:30] And I could have stayed there for a long time if I hadn’t clarified my ideas about what I really wanted.
[00:14:37] Let’s say some mental barriers were hard to overcome. At first, I tried to find alternatives. Part-time work during the trip, a shorter duration.
[00:14:47] Following my wife’s lead, who said to me, 'but why all these alternatives?' What was leading me down this path of wanting to find a halfway solution between what we wanted to do and what I was trying to set up?
[00:15:04] And by listening to my feelings, I finally discovered that it was fear. It was the fear of a profound change in our lives, the risk of living something else, something that was deeply different for me.
[00:15:16] And it was a big step for me to understand that, to understand why I wasn’t fully accepting what we wanted to do, why I had brakes holding me back. And I started to look at this feeling, to try to find where it came from. And when I understood this fear, its origin, I was able to move forward.
[00:15:34] It took a while from my wife’s and children’s point of view, who were waiting for me to be ready. But this analysis became a real strength because I was fully aware of these blocks. And I understood them. I was able to make this decision with full knowledge of the facts. And knowing that yes, I would have the psychological resources to move beyond them. And it clearly strengthened my self-confidence on a whole range of subjects.
[00:16:04] Exactly, Farouk, psychological safety is exactly that.
[00:16:10] And that was a really important moment. I remember, it happened one evening when my mind shifted from 'yes, we should do it' to 'yes, this is what I want.' And in fact, I call this feeling the 'click.'
[00:16:23] And that reminded me of an event that took place that same year, in 2018. An event where I felt that same click, that moment when your brain shifts from 'I can’t' to 'yes, this is what I want to do.'
[00:16:36] The photo shows a culvert, and that’s really what this experience was about. It was during a training course I had the chance to do with the GIGN in 2018.
[00:16:45] We had to cross through a 40 cm wide culvert, 11 meters long, under the road.
[00:16:52] Put simply like that, with 40 cm for the shoulders, it doesn’t fit. And that’s where a huge psychological effort begins. You’re in front of the culvert, and it’s 'I’m not going to do it, I can’t, I’ll never make it.' And in fact, you start fighting with yourself for so long, telling yourself, 'I have to go, we’re in a group, and we have to get through because otherwise, the group stays here.' And at the same time, I’m not going to make it. And up to the moment when you have that click, where your brain starts working and says, 'but yes, I can do it.' And at that moment, it’s completely different; you have the abilities that allow you to do it. And we got through that culvert. And I call this feeling the 'click.'
[00:17:32] Important and powerful, but at the same time so simple in the meaning it brings. It simply means that we create our own barriers and that we ourselves are an obstacle to where we want to go.
[00:17:45] And put simply, we just need to identify them to know how to handle them. And to know how to listen to ourselves, to know how to recognize them. Our blocks allow us to move forward, to transform ourselves, and to transform beyond.
[00:18:00] So, if I come back to the trip, did it teach us anything? So, this first month of travel, what were the takeaways after the first month? First of all, the first impression was that we thought, before the trip, that we would need more time to adapt, to transition from an active life to a completely different one. And surprisingly, the adaptation was very quick. And the first effects were felt very quickly. The first effect, I could call it letting go.
[00:18:28] Planning, anticipation, preparation—we decided to set all that aside to make room for surprise. Not planning transportation or hosts in advance and seeing what could happen. Meeting friendly people or just experiencing situations because we weren’t obligated by a plan and following something that was written in advance.
[00:18:48] The second effect, I would call it openness to the world around us. And we were used to thinking, acting, and seeing through our European mentality. And it’s not easy to open up and let in other ways of thinking. without using a natural filter. But once we left the door open, once we made room for these differences, we encountered behaviors that were truly different.
[00:19:15] As earlier, like with the story of the abuse, taking the time to understand, to try, and to adapt our way of reacting to these new things, to our new environment, such as the relationship to time. Not running after it, but living with the present time. And that was one of the first lessons of the trip.
[00:19:38] So, concretely, this trip lasted eight months. And besides traveling, the pleasure of being together and discovering new things, what did it bring us concretely? This trip had a truly significant impact on us. Some changes occurred. During the trip, very quickly, others a few months later, and still others will undoubtedly happen later. And especially for the children, who developed a mindset that will help them grow in a different way. I will classify these changes into three main themes. And the first, which resonates with what I’ve been saying all along, is self-knowledge.
[00:20:21] We had the time during this trip to step back from daily life. Which allowed us to develop our thoughts without being disturbed by usual activities. We also had the time to review our actions, our decisions, and our past reactions. We had the time to analyze and understand them. Why, in such a situation, did I react that way? How could I approach it differently if I took the time to understand what happened? And that allowed us to have a better understanding of ourselves, of our feelings, and gave us ways to deal with situations that may arise. One of the best examples is in human relationships. We met many new people, entered their daily lives, their homes, and were confronted with many feelings during those moments. Sometimes, we were destabilized by behaviors, and we didn’t know how to react. And in these situations, we learned to recognize the feelings that overwhelmed us, then to adapt our reactions. To how we reacted to the welcome we were given. We grasped the feeling of destabilization to act differently. And that was very useful for approaching each new situation. And without a doubt, it changed our perspective on human relationships, on how we approach contact with the unknown.
[00:21:50] So that was the first lesson.
[00:21:55] The second lesson is also an exercise on ourselves.
[00:21:59] During this trip, we no longer had our usual outlets to rest our minds, like sports or commute times. It was a family trip, and when I say family, it wasn't a couple's trip, but a family trip, so with children. And as wonderful as our children were during the trip, they needed a lot of attention, and we were together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And that required a lot of energy and real self-work to manage a constant flow of demands.
[00:22:30] And in difficult moments, where fatigue plays a significant role in our reactions, We learned to analyze our feelings before reacting and to adapt our responses. It was sometimes a complex exercise, and it still is. But we learned a lot from it and acquired better skills in managing demands and in psychological rest to absorb this flow of demands that comes our way.
[00:23:06] So that's the second major lesson.
[00:23:12] And here, it's probably the most visible skill we improved during this trip: adaptability.
[00:23:21] Our choices about how we traveled led us to develop a strong sense of adaptability. We had gotten into the habit of planning nothing, sleeping in local homes, sharing the daily lives of people, and choosing means that facilitated encounters. Every time we arrived at a new family, from a different culture, we had to understand their motivation for welcoming us, their way of thinking, and their expectations.
[00:23:52] There were many questions in our minds. Are they welcoming us just for the pleasure of exchanging? Is there an interest behind this welcome? What are the rules inside the house? How might our actions or words seem inappropriate in this different culture? How can we act without feeling awkward in this house? And we sometimes felt a bit diminished. We developed senses that helped us cope with this feeling of being diminished, to quickly understand the environment, and to act appropriately at that moment.
[00:24:32] And planning nothing also means a lot of surprises. And we had to face different types of events and manage our reaction while finding a solution. For example, if I take being in the night without having a place to sleep, and with the children asking us where we're sleeping, when we'll arrive, etc. We would manage the search plus the children's worry. So, taking it upon ourselves and reassuring the family that we would find something. Similarly, being late at night on a gravel road in the middle of nowhere, with no signal, And it's at that moment that the car chooses to break down. And that's a situation always amplified by managing the children and having to reassure and handle the unknown.
[00:25:15] Or another example, which is managing relationships only with smiles. Where people always answer yes to questions because we don't understand each other. And that leads to some very, very beautiful misunderstandings.
[00:25:28] One of the main lessons is that, surprisingly,
[00:25:32] It became quite easy to manage as we developed our adaptability. Managing the unknown and these unusual circumstances became easier and easier due to the development we had achieved.
[00:25:53] I will now address a sensitive part. Looking a little closer at this adventure, there are some parallels that can be drawn. I apologize in advance if I might shock some people by doing so.
[00:26:09] I'm not used to drawing a parallel between teamwork and managing children, but during this adventure, there were still many similarities worth highlighting. And just to clarify, it wasn't a small change. We changed their reference points, we took them on an adventure that had nothing to do with what they knew, and with people who don't speak the same language.
[00:26:35] If we draw the parallel, we are very close to a situation of change. Don't you think? So, let's draw some parallels.
[00:26:46] First, sharing the vision. When we announced this project to the children, they were very excited to do it and very happy to do it. We had taken care beforehand to prepare the necessary materials. A map, a beautiful video, a wonderful announcement book. We had gathered all the conditions to properly explain to them what we wanted to do. Why? And what they would discover during this trip.
[00:27:10] And even with the fact that they would be far from their friends, they were happy.
[00:27:14] And we had to repeat the purpose of this trip several times during the trip itself. Even if they knew it well, it is necessary to spread this vision as many times as needed. And I would say especially in difficult moments, and especially in difficult moments. Does that speak to you? When you have to lead your team through difficult moments, why are we doing this?
[00:27:38] Next, the second parallel is finding deep motivations.
[00:27:46] Both for the trip itself and for other daily moments, like homework for example. And here, it is necessary to understand the motivations that nourish our children in order to manage our discourse and the right way they support the project. I can say that it wasn't easy to find the deep motivations to do homework day after day. And to find the motivations, the drivers, and generate engagement by relying on them.
[00:28:14] Next, removing constraints.
[00:28:18] It is necessary for an effective team,
[00:28:24] It must have as little dependency as possible, and we must remove external constraints.
[00:28:30] And we did the same thing during the trip, trying to be as independent as possible. It may seem counterintuitive at first, but hitchhiking was a good way to do it. We didn't need to book tickets. Nor be dependent on a third-party company to find a way to get to the starting point. Even though we still needed cars to take us, we removed many constraints by limiting external needs. We tried to be as self-sufficient as possible, to be an autonomous group.
[00:29:04] Another parallel is the work environment. To allow our children to fully participate in the trip, we had to provide them with a travel environment. So, by analogy with the work environment, as appropriate as possible, so that this environment is not an obstacle or a hindrance to the experience. And that's what we did, for example, with the travel bags. We tried, and we succeeded, in traveling with as little equipment as possible, and thus with the smallest bag possible. And it was a good thing not to have to worry about the heaviness of our environment during our movements.
[00:29:46] Adaptability, as you know, unexpected events or unplanned work in a team really change the game. Everything you promised, delivered, where you want to go, can be completely disrupted by this management of the unexpected if you don't know how to prepare for it.
[00:30:03] And if you're not prepared to face it, it can compromise your entire schedule. And as we saw a little earlier, we learned to cope with all the abilities we developed and to better manage this unexpected so that it doesn't interfere with the project.
[00:30:22] And finally, I would say the last comparison is family building. It was one of the goals of our trip, to spend time together, to live strong moments together, and to increase complicity. And it worked. Our children became true friends during the trip, and we created real strong moments with them. And it was essential to succeed in building this incredible moment.
[00:30:48] There you go, I'm coming to the end of these comparisons. If I had to finally summarize this entire experience, if I had to retain just one lesson, It is: trust your adaptability. I'll wrap up my message for tonight.
[00:31:05] And thank you all.

Transcript (Translated)